


(Belated) Happy Birthday

by klawhawser



Series: somebody who catches you [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Background Isabelle Lightwood, Background Jace Wayland, Break Up, Crying Alec Lightwood, Heavy Angst, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Misunderstandings, Post-Break Up, Post-Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Break Up, Ten Trails Whump Challenge 2020, Trail 7: Road to Recovery, Whump, Whumptober, breakdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klawhawser/pseuds/klawhawser
Summary: Alec had broken up with Magnus because of a misunderstanding. For some reason, Magnus went missing and on Alec’s birthday, he got a clue on Magnus’ whereabout. Today, on Magnus’ birthday, Alec visited him, wanting to make amend and celebrate his birthday.For he may be a downworlder, Magnus is an angel sent to Alec.For Ten Trails Whump Challenge by yuckwhump on Tumblr!Trail 7: Road to Recovery – Breakdown, October 17th
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: somebody who catches you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945585
Kudos: 28
Collections: Ten Trails Whump Challenge 2020





	(Belated) Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the sixth theme on Trail 7: Road to Recovery, Breakdown. Enjoy!  
> Inspired Happy Birthday by NU’EST

_On a cold winter day_

_God has sent an angel on earth for one person_

**_____**

_“Alexander.”_

_Alec just had dinner with Magnus. They had Chinese take outs for tonight. They were discussing on what they should make for that weekend event, Maryse going to visit her favorite boys. It’s her first time visiting her son with his new boyfriend. Not wanting to disappoint her, Alec wanted to bake something for her._

_“Come here early tomorrow, Alexander. I can teach you a few things and we can bake together,” Magnus said with enthusiasm. Alec always love it whenever Magnus got so excited about things they plan together. It was their first month together, and Alec was so happy to be Magnus’ boyfriend._

_“Alright then,” Alec kisses his lips. Magnus grins as his lips met Alexander’s. “Let’s hope we don’t burn your kitchen tomorrow.”_

_Magnus light chuckles brightened Alec’s day, at least he won’t let Alec disappoint his mom, knowing how awful the Lightwoods were whenever they stepped into the kitchen. Apparently, his Alexander was ‘slightly’ better than his sister, never burn a kitchen but a pan on fire._

_“I’ll bring your favorite flower to set up the table. Until tomorrow, Magnus,” Alec kissed him then waved, making his way to Magnus’ front door and left._

**_____**

The bell rang when Alec came inside the shop. Myriad of colors and sweet aromas permeated throughout the whole shop, feasting his eyes and nostrils at the same time. He sauntered to the only table decorated with color wrappings and flowers, greeting the young woman staff. The staff who’s cutting a ribbon stopped immediately and stood up.

“Hi, I’m picking up my order, Alexander Lightwood. It’s already paid in advance,” Alec explained.

“Please wait for a minute, Mr. Lightwood. Let me check your order,” The staff left him to the staff room, looking for Alec’s specific order. She was back with a hand bouquet of calla lily and striped carnation.

Magnus’ favorite.

“Here you go, Mr. Lightwood. Have a nice day,” She beamed. Alec returned hers with a sad smile, his fingers trembled upon contact with the bouquet. It was heavy, but it was nothing compared to the heaviness in heart which had been there for months. Alec muttered a soft ‘thank you’ then left the florist quickly.

Winter in December is really unforgiving. Snow has been falling rather harshly, making it hard for him to travel by foot. To tell the truth, Alec didn’t really mind it. He didn’t really care if he got a frostbite or buried in a pile of snow. The emptiness in his heart rivaled the numbness in his finger. No matter how hard he rubbed his hand, it’s still cold.

It took some time for Alec to travel to Magnus’ new home. Alec hadn’t got time visit him. More like, Alec didn’t have the gut to face Magnus. Their last arguments were the last straw for Magnus. Magnus never raised his voice to Alec, but that day was an exception. All because of a mere misunderstanding and his stubbornness.

**_____**

_“Alexander, I told you he’s just a client!” Magnus said as he was pacing back and forth on their living room._

_“Don’t lie to me, Magnus. I saw him holding your hands as if he’s your real lover, not me,” Alec spat, knuckles white from curling his hand into a fist, hard._

_“He was just passed by our loft and coincidentally I was there, so thanked me for a ward I did for him last week,” Magnus said. “Why won’t you believe in me? He’s being a vampire doesn’t mean I will choose a downworlder like him over you, Alexander. I may have had a lot of past with some downworlders but that’s it. It’s already in the past.”_

_Alec scoffed. His face cold and menacing, showing anger to Magnus, but inside he was hurting. His insecurities peaked and took him a lot of willpower to control it. “If you don’t really want me, you should just say it to my face. I get that me being a Nephilim would only hinder you behind.”_

_“Alexander, I never want you to leave,” Magnus sighed. He walked to Alec to held his arm, showing his sincerity, showing how much Alec meant to him. “It was just a misunderstanding. I only want you. And it will always be you.”_

_Alec visibly stunned. “I-I can’t do this,” Alec stuttered, wiggling away from Magnus’ touch. His mind flew everywhere and couldn’t think straight. Seeing someone other than him made Magnus laughed without restraint troubled him so much._

_What if Magnus finally choose that vampire?_

_What if Magnus finally realized that Alec is nothing but a burden?_

_“I t-think we need a b-break, Magnus.”_

_Magnus’ mouth agape, didn’t expecting Alec would break their relationship they built. But he said nothing. He backed away; his arms raised signaling that he gave up._

_“Fine.”_

_Magnus’ voice cracked as he uttered that one word. Alec’s hazel eyes welled up in tears, involuntarily letting out a pained gasp. So, this is it. Magnus finally understood that Alec was too much for him. He dashed his way to the front door, collecting his coat and stele. Before he left, he took one last glance at Magnus._

_“I love you, Alexander,” Magnus smiled, lone tear made its way to Magnus’ chin._

_“You will always find me in your heart.”_

**_____**

Ever since that uneventful day, Magnus went missing, nowhere to be seen and couldn’t be reached through his phone and fire messages. Of course, Alec blamed himself for that. Jace and Izzy already reprimanded him for letting his insecurities made him left Magnus. And so, Alec had been tirelessly trying to search for a clue. A group of shadowhunters were assembled just to search for his glittery warlock. Anything. Even just a slightest crumb would give him hope.

It’s been a month and still, there wasn’t a clue for his whereabout.

Alec was hopeless.

Alec let out a soft huff, steam coming out from his chapped lips, from the cold weather. He was finally here.

The gate to his place was opened and it was eerily quiet. It was barren land of snow with a group of trees in some area. Clutching the bouquet tighter, his tears almost betrayed him, threatening to fall as he was walking to his place.

He was ready to meet Magnus.

_That angel who has given so much love_

_Had been hurt and shed tears_

_But the angel still smiled at me_

“It’s been a while, Magnus.”

There he stood on in front of a grave by the willow tree, a marble gray tombstone in front of him, with his lover’s name on it. Nothing could ever prepare Alec to see his lover’s seven feet below the ground.

_After we loved and were separated for a bit_

_This is the angel’s first birthday_

“Don’t you want to scold me?” Alec asked in a hushed voice. “Yell at me?”

His lifeless hazel eyes stared at the tombstone, waiting for an answer he knows he will never get. Not in this lifetime perhaps.

“Anything?”

**_____**

_Rap of knocks broke down Alec’s concentration as he was reading a report that needed to be signed this afternoon._

_“Come back in half an hour.” Alec raised his voice, not bothering to look at the door, hoping his voice is loud enough for any of them who was behind that door go away. The sound of pen scribbling away in his office is now disturbed by screeching sound coming from the door._

_Alec growled in annoyance. “You better have something impo-“_

_“Happy birthday, Alec!” Izzy and Jace yelled in unison, on their hand was a chocolate cake with 3 candles on it. He was touched but didn’t want them to see him like that. And so he put an annoyed façade for them._

_“I’m not ten anymore,” Alec sighed, resting his back on his plush chair. “I don’t need birthday cake.”_

_Izzy looked downward, walking to his desk then placed his birthday cake. She exhaled and stared at Alec right in the eyes. Alec could tell Izzy was trying to tell him something that he probably won’t like._

_“Alec, there’s something you should know about Magnus.”_

_Alec frowned, his eyes pleading. “Izzy, please, don’t make me-“_

_“We found him, Alec,” Jace interrupted. He didn’t realize it when Jace’s mismatched eyes brimmed with tears._

_“He’s dead, Alec.”_

_Alec’s eyes widen when he heard what Jace said. Izzy sobbed and Jace hugged her, caressing her long black-ink hair._

_“What?”_

_“Catarina just found him today in his loft’s rooftop, lying in the snow,” Alec took a sharp breath and holding them as he waited Jace to continue. “No violent wound was found. It was as if he was sleeping, welcoming death.”_

_Alec crumpled down, curling himself on the chair. “Iz-Izzy, I-I… I can’t see him…. I can’t”_

_A heartbreaking wail escaped his lips. This was too painful. His body shook with uncontrollable sob. His mouth trembled as he keeps saying ‘It was my fault’ over and over. Jace and Izzy rushed to his side hugging him, saying that they were sorry. The three of them cried over his brother’s lover._

_His heart shattered into million piece and he had no intention to glue them back._

_It will always stay that way until Alec died._

_And he already died inside._

**_____**

“Thanks to you I spent my birthday curling down in my office, crying over your death!” Alec blubbering angrily, his knees dropped to the ground, too weak to support his aching heart and body.

He cried, tears glistening as his trembling fingers clutching to Magnus’ name on the stone, his forehead laid limp on it.

“I hate you, Magnus,” Alec’s breath hitched between his sobs. His face crumpled in pain as he continued to talk. “I hate you for leaving me alone in this world.”

For a moment, the cemetery was silent with a mix of Alec’s devastating hiccups.

He looked up and grazed Magnus’ name with silent tears steaming off his pale cheeks. His eyes hurt both from the cold and crying too much, but he couldn’t stop. He finally met Magnus after 4 months separated, and only to be reunited when one of them in a different world.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus. I regretted for letting my insecurities drove me away from you,” he wavered, and he kept brushing Magnus’ name with his thumb. He let a tearful laugh, “Did you know on my birthday, I wished to rewind the time, so I could prevent myself from hurting you?”

“I lost Max already, Magnus,” his voice faltered, closing his eyes, trying to calm himself, but tears steadily fell from his eyes. He choked on his sobs as he was saying, “And now I lost you forever.”

He lifted up his chin and shouted to the snow fallen gray sky, “Tell me Raziel, haven’t I lost enough?!”

His tear rimmed eyes stared grimly at the tombstone again, imagining it was Magnus in front of him, with his amber cat eyes and glittery eyeliner, adorned with sweet smile that Alec liked the most.

“Darling, you’re supposed to outlive me,” he hiccupped between his sobs. The grieving shadowhunters wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Then why am I here kneeling in front of your tombstone?”

Alec clutched his shirt above his heart. He wailed, losing Magnus made him question if it worth living the life without Magnus in it.

“All this time I’m still in love with you. And I missed you so much.”

_I can’t be by your side, but_

“ _Happy birthday_ , Magnus. _Happy birthday_.”

_I thank the one who made you be born_

“Thank you for having me in your life even for a moment,” A smile appeared on his face, but soon crumpled when tears covered his pretty smile. “I’m sorry your last memory of me is me running away and abandoned you. I’m so so sorry, Magnus. I really am.”

He stood up, from his knees down already numb, contacted with the snow for too long. He brushed the remaining of snow on his pants, then crouched. Placing the bouquet of calla lily and striped carnation.

Faithfulness and regret.

He stood and clasped his palm together, prayed for Magnus’ happiness wherever he may be. When he was done, his heart lifted a bit. Still grieving, but less remorseful.

“Rest well, Magnus.”

_“Once again, happy birthday. I love you so much.”_

Little did Alec knew, on the other side, Magnus had hugged him as Alec cried and crouched on his grave. He heard everything Alec said to him. He let his tears fall, stroking Alec’s phantom hair, he whispered,

“I love you, too, Alexander.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thank you so much for reading this fic. Tell me did you cry reading this one?? please do leave kudos, bookmark, and comment if you like~
> 
> I wrote the fifth theme here or simply by clicking this for complete collection. 
> 
> There’s a sequel for this fic and it will be for the seventh theme, Self-Harm, coming up on October 21st. See you later!


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